Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I Feel Terrible! Part 2

A quick blog search revealed NOT NEARLY ENOUGH SQUID IMAGERY, REVIEWS OR DISCUSSION ON THIS SITE. I would like to apologize to all ten-armed operatives here and now, in front of the whole ocean.

And I'd like to remind you more experienced operatives of this FANTASTIC SQUID RESOURCE WEBSITE, at the same time I introduce it to you newer gals. Every time I look there is something new and terrific posted up there. I think it can only indicate that SQUID CONSCIOUSNESS IS INCREASING OUT THERE, even on dry land where the Shaved Monkeys roam.
THE FACT REMAINS that there are not enough Squid movies, books, or even documentaries being churned out. (The "scientific" studies, involving the capture and torture of our operatives, ending with them trapped in jars of rubbing alcohol forever, you can keep.) MUCH MORE NEEDS TO BE DONE.
THIS WOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM if the Naked Apes had cottoned to the idea we introduced 30 YEARS AGO to replace the snakes and scorpions so popular among bikers and heavy metal listeners with CEPHALOPODS. But you can't win 'em all.
By the way, the black leather Squid posted on the blog linked above, July 9th, 2008, is NOT REASON FOR HOPE. Bikers just don't like anything without a visible stinger, fangs or a rattle on its tail.

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Friday, July 25, 2008

Today's Incredible Find -- BUY NOW!

Click here and see for yourself.
Feel free to disagree with me on this, but I tend to believe that in a world where ANYONE can buy a thousand SQUID-SHAPED STRESS BALLS WITH THE COMPANY LOGO PRINTED ON THEM, there is hope for the future.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Life Is Good Sometimes

All right, ladies, GET OUT YOUR WALLETS. Before your eyes is item #IN-31/185 from the Oriental Trading Company catalog, "Mardi Gras Crawfish," priced to BUY BY THE CASE, BUSHEL or TRUCKLOAD. Here are your instructions: BUY THEM ALL. Distribute them to ANYONE IN NEED.
I want to see these festive little Crayfish on EVERY DASHBOARD IN AMERICA. Right where the little glow-in-the-dark Jesuses used to go.

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Sunday, July 20, 2008

Oh, Just One More Action Shot!

Yessiree bob, another action photo of Clarias batrachis infiltrating dry land just as Dagon intended!

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We Rule The Streets

Several operatives have e-mailed me this week with rare and exciting news footage showing MY SISTERS, Clarias batrachis, yes! the WALKING CATFISH, abroad and taking over the sidewalks and lawns of Florida. The only surprise is that they're TREATING THIS AS NEWS -- for crying out loud, we've OWNED Florida since the Sixties. If they only knew how many ELECTED OFFICIALS in that state were OUR OPERATIVES, well, let me say, then they'd have a REAL news story to bugle about.


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Saturday, July 05, 2008

Today's Movie Quote

"It's not the claw print of any fish in this area!"
(The Beach Girls And The Monster, 1965)
...and when you saw just one set of claw prints in the sand,
that's when Dagon was carrying you.

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