Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Times Like These Make Me Wish I Could Change Your Theater Of Operations... ANYWHERE OTHER than the pocket of ocean that leads from the armpit of Texas to what the Shaved Monkeys call the Atlantic Ocean.  It's astonishing that they managed another MILLION-GALLON OIL SPILL on the anniversary of the 1989 Exxon Valdez disaster.  And it's only been about 4 years since the LAST atrocious oil spill in the same stretch of water, just a little closer to the sunrise, that we all remember from when the Deepwater Horizon  blew up.  These are terrible days to be a crab, fish or aquatic bird in the Gulf -- the photo of the operative above was taken 2 days ago.

One of our dining-out operatives reports that they had a special discussion today on CNN, explaining how hard it is to find the RIGHT debris on satellite photos, because the plane someone put in the Indian Ocean is proving fairly difficult to find.  ASK US.  ASK US WHERE THE OILSLICK AND THE PIECES OF WING AND FUSELAGE ARE.  WE CAN TELL YOU EXACTLY.  But nobody with two legs ever asks a fish. 

And they can't find THAT debris because of all the floating gill nets, boogie board pieces, packing peanuts and Q-tip sticks decorating the surface of every waterway on earth.  Needle in a haystack, they said, except the needle moves several hundred miles a day and the haystack goes with it.

Do you see what I'm on about now?  Homo sap  destroys everything he touches.  Get out there and recruit every last one.  The sooner we turn them all into Skipjack and Herrings, the better.

Saturday, March 08, 2014

More Bizarreness From The Homo Saps...

OK, one of our amphibious operatives was at a lunch prowl and overheard two others at her table discussing their vacation properties in Canada.  One of them was laughing ruefully about the way her 100 acres has gone from dry land to, almost, a LAKE because of all the Beavers living in the area.   Her companion -- who I gather has complained at GREAT length at other luncheons about the rattlesnakes on HER vacation property -- had this suggestion:

"Can't you blow up the dams?"

Well, no, said the Beaver hostess.  They're protected.

What threw our operative the most was that the one suggesting a DYNAMITE OUTRAGE is a vegetarian of many years' standing who says she could never be a party to killing a living thing. 

(Hint to vegetarians:  CELERY IS A LIVING THING.) 

At least CANADA is on our side here.  As long as they are, the noble Canadian Beaver will keep on converting dry land to wetland...more or less undisturbed.

Saturday, March 01, 2014

Just A Funny Little Coincidence...

It's been brought to my attention that there's a song you can listen to called "Give A Monkey A Brain And He'll Swear He's The Center Of The Universe."
Who recorded it, you say? 
A band called FISHBONE.
It almost smacks of insight on the part of Homo sap!  Go figure!