Sunday, May 21, 2017

Behold The "Capistrano Shark Bite"!

In a bit of an INSTANT HOMAGE to what was, after al, just a sighting of 25 or so of our Great White operatives off a California beach last week, someone has invented this ADORABLE beverage made of run, Curacao, a little of this and that and a drop of grenadine, with a rubber model of an operative added and is currently charging $10 for one serving.  Proceeds are going to benefit a recruit in San Onofre, name withheld on this website. ISN'T THAT NICE OF THEM? 

When The Sharks Return To Capistrano...

...All the featherless bipeds go to pieces over it!  A bit of a Shark convocation happened near what they call Capistrano Beach on the coast of what they call California.  WHAT A FUSS THEY MADE.  They got on their bullhorns and ordered EVERYBODY OUTOF THE WATER.  Helicopters bulging with anxious frogmen monitored the scene.  Adults dragged screaming children out of the surf.  EVERYONE TOOK PICTURES. 

You'd think we'd actually eaten one of them!

It says here "Marine experts said the sharks were probably looking for food." 


Sunday, May 14, 2017

And This Is My Final Answer

Here's the CORRECTED image of a real Mermaid encounter.  There is NO CAMERA.  The sailor is ALONE.  The Mermaids are SINKING HIS BOAT.  He is SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT, positively happy with the situation, and quite unable to comprehend that he is about to be KILLED and EATEN.

Ah, those were the good old days! 

The Answer To "What's Wrong With This Picture?"

I'm happy to say that just about every answer I got to the question a couple of blog entries back -- WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? -- was ABSOLUTELY CORRECT:

>>   Mermaids were, indeed, phased out as recruiting operatives much, much more than a century before photography was invented, and scuba gear came out even later than that.

>>  A real mermaid would never, ever allow herself to be spotted, LET ALONE PHOTOGRAPHED, by a featherless biped unless she knew he had not seen a featherless biped female in at least 2 years and would be too sea-happy to distinguish one of his own kind from ONE OF US.  Our concealment techniques have COME A LONG WAY since those days, but for quite a while we had to rely on recruiting male humans who could no longer tell a pretty human girl from a Dugong:

>>  It seems clear from the whole look of the obviously-staged quiz photo that the diver got into the water to photograph the mermaid, although I may be reading too much into the image.  A Homo sap., dragged into the water by the song of a REAL SIREN, would never have the presence of mind to get into a wetsuit, assemble and test his breathing gear, load film into a camera and so forth.  If this were an actual mermaid recruitment, the guy would have done something more like this:  

>>  She is not KILLING or EATING him, although I agree the photo is ambiguous -- she may be on her way to doing just that.  

>>  The dead giveaway, though, is her SIZE.  As we all know, REAL mermaids were never that large:

Of course, this famous recruiter is a bit WIZENED after having been out of the water for A GREAT MANY YEARS before this photo was taken.  BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.

An Animated Gif From GODZILLA vs THE SMOG MONSTER commemoration of Banno Yoshimitsu, director of that incomparable film:

...and another:  

...and yet another:  

Here was a man who understood about WHAT WE ARE UP AGAINST.  He went so far as to show a recruiter in this film wearing a fish-bedaubed body stocking and seducing an audience with her piscatorial dance until they turn into fish themselves -- as you can see in the topmost gif in this entry.  Just a beautiful moment, immortalized on celluloid, from a man none of us will ever forget.

(à la morte...) 

Saturday, May 06, 2017

Just Putting A Smile In Your Day With This Image

What's Wrong With This Picture?

This is just a bit of a pop quiz for new landfish recruiting operatives.  WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE, and can you tell me what needs to be done to correct it?