Wednesday, November 09, 2016

I Try Not To Comment Too Often On Human Politics...

...but I see last night's presidential election results as a GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY for us fish gals trying to lure more featherless bipeds into the sea forever. 

Here's how it went:  Hillary Clinton got 59,414,437 popular votes to Donald Trump's 59,229,554.  Not as close as Gush vs. Bore in 2000, but still pretty close.  Somehow, due to obscurities in Shaved Monkey politics I NEVER expect to understand, this means DONALD TRUMP won.  Reports are pouring in from across the Conspiracy Zone.  Feminists are wearing black.  The landscum are pouring into their urgent cares and other emergency medical facilities, complaining of headaches, nausea, vomiting and explosive diarrhea.  Bill Maher has shaved his head in protest! 

Meanwhile, those who light votive candles to the memory of Ronald Reagan all seem to have happy little smiles.

YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, LADIES.  We are switching over our target demographic.  The Tea Party Republicans, who have been stocking up on canned goods and shotgun shells for the last DECADE because the president was a black man, were entering the sea like Lemmings because of their terror that the world was ending.  Now we are pivoting to address the needs of the Liberal Democrats who are applying for visas to get them into Finland, Patagonia, the planned Martian colony -- anywhere but here.

Even Patrick Stewart (pictured above) appears to have switched sides and wants to be one of us!