Recruitment Of A Human Caught Live On Camera...

...Like EVERYTHING ELSE IS THESE DAYS.  This should serve both as an INSPIRATION and a WARNING, ladies.  Just bear in mind at all times that WHILE WE ARE WATCHING THEM, THEY ARE RECORDING OUR EVERY MOVE ON THEIR CELLPHONES.

 

Click here to see the film.

 

Get a load of the comments the Shaved Monkey viewers made below the film itself.  THEY DON'T SUSPECT A THING.

 

But wait!  There's more:

 

 

Best Piscatorial Halloween Costume We Saw This Year...

I learned that Halloween is supposed to be the day that a human's DEAD ANCESTORS show up at their houses, wanting dinner.  If they don't get fed, they get irritated -- and that's where trick-or-treating comes from.  All the kids in costumes are just trying to GET IN ON THE GRAVY.

 

Many of them, as you know, ladies, are actually moving AWAY from the well-established knowledge that humans are descended from fish.  They're going back to the old saw about how the earth is only a few thousand years old -- must be true because it says so in the Bible.

 

I now realize there's another possible reason they're grasping at that straw LIKE THE DROWNING MEN THEY ARE.  I guess it might be too ALARMING for them to think about ALL their dead ancestors coming back to take revenge.  If they started out as humans and were never any sort of fish, hey, that cuts a lot of angry fish out of the picture.  FISH THEY ARE STILL TREATING PRETTY SHABBILY.

 

Swim, my pretties! Kill!  Kill!

This Is Why We Do It, Ladies...

 

This long-suffering operative (name withheld by request) captured the man shown in Alberta, Canada.  He was so disgusted by her condition that he WENT TO THE PAPERS ABOUT IT.  And now THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS.

 

This is why we need to turn them ALL into fish, and QUICKLY.