Well, It's True, Actually.

 

Happy International Cephalopod Awareness Days!

 

Today, of course, is INTERNATIONAL WORLD OCTOPUS DAY.  Always a recruiting success in EVERY Conspiracy zone, underwater and up on dry land!

Tomorrow is Nautilus Night!

The day after that is Squid and Cuttlefish day, 

also known as SQUITTLEDAY!

Up next is Kraken Day!

And finally, Fossil Day!

NOW GET TO WORK, LADIES!

Horrible News

 

THIS IS A MAJOR SETBACK, LADIES.

In the PERMANENT ARMS RACE between the featherless bipeds and EVERYTHING ELSE, for most of their existence the Homo saps have lost ROUND AFTER ROUND.  Infant mortality, smallpox, really big fires, ALMOST ANYTHING could kill them and we were able to keep their numbers in check.

But then they started to make progress on their bone-chilling goal of keeping every single one of their species alive NO MATTER WHAT.

The latest advance?  Right on the heels of the Covid vaccine, some apple polisher in one of their science labs has come up with a freaking vaccine for MALARIA.

After all the floating pond rings dosing the ponds with Bt, the mesh suits, the DEET,  the wretched SICKLE CELL GENE...now this.

My heart seemed to TEAR IN TWO when I heard that the same swell new technology used to create the Covid vaccine is going to be turned next to renew the assault on the human immunodeficiency virus.

Because THERE ARE ONLY 8.8 BILLION NAKED APES RUNNING LOOSE right now, WIPING OUT EVERY OTHER SPECIES THEY COME IN CONTACT WITH.  We wouldn't want to RUN OUT OF LANDSCUM.  Let's cure them of EVERYTHING this year.

Try to be of good cheer, ladies.  There are good things happening, and as usual THEY ARE DOING SOME OF IT TO THEMSELVES.  They refuse to get vaccinated.  They refuse to eat better.  They refuse to quit drinking alcohol.  All the malaria vaccine in the world won't stop you from digging your grave with your teeth, and here in my own Conspiracy Zone that is a WAY OF LIFE.

And the busy little one-celled life forms -- some of them even smaller than that -- are WORKING DAY AND NIGHT to come up with new weapons against our foe.

Meanwhile, THE FISH ARMY CONTINUES TO RECRUIT MORE AND MORE HUMANS SO THEY CAN ONE DAY TURN INTO CEPHALOPODS, BONY FISH AND SEA SQUIRTS.  FOR THE GREATER GLORY.

WE WILL PREVAIL.