Troubling Intelligence From Morava River Operatives

 

Says here -- https://www.eurotopics.net/en/312259/christmas-carp-a-nice-tradition-or-animal-torture -- that the TIDE IS TURNING in the Czech Republic.  Operatives deployed in the Morava River (as the landscum call it) and up on surrounding dry land CONFIRM that there is a movement to OUTLAW the Christmas Carp in those parts, saying it's CRUEL TO THE FISH.  

One wonders if it's not their own yard apes they're thinking of, getting attached to our Carp recruiting operatives before EATING them for Christmas dinner.

BUT FOR US, THE ATTACHMENT IS THE POINT.  That 6-year-old human they find so adorable, mesmerized by the graceful movements of the operative in the family bathtub, is ALREADY A RECRUIT, and whatever PAIN it feels watching the yearly sacrifice of the operative ONLY STRENGTHENS THE BOND BETWEEN US AND THEM. 

Anyone who agitates for the end of this recruitment ceremony is SIMPLY NOT GETTING IT and may be beyond the reach of our operatives.  No matter.  PLENTY OF OTHERS DO GET IT, whether they are children petting a Carp in a bathtub or adults drowning themselves in the Danube.

One nice attribute of this species is that for every featherless biped advocating to STOP what they see as a Carp massacre, there is another DEFENDING the role of the Christmas Carp as a TRADITION THEY MUST NEVER LET GO OF.

Either way, WE WIN.