Saturday, September 08, 2018

Public Goldfish Aquarium Re-Homing A Two-Tailed Success!

The burble over at the Eurofish Conspiracy Zone is -- among inexperienced new fish recruits, not yet wise to our ways -- that our attempts to infiltrate freshwater areas of that zone stand to be FOILED by the efforts of the Paris Aquarium, whose staff have taken in a good number of Goldfish recruiters (ou, en fran├žais,"poisson rouge") to prevent people releasing them into the nearest pond, lake or stream when they outgrow their tiny aquariums. WE KNOW BETTER, THOUGH, DON'T WE?  Everything that happens to a Goldfish is PART OF OUR LARGER PLAN.  The Eurofish Conspiracy Zone leader told me just the other day that it FILLS HER WITH PRIDE whenever they call EuroGoldfish an INVASIVE SPECIES.  There is no stronger evidence that the landscum, who generally NOTICE NOTHING, are noticing these brave, self-sacrificing recruiters gazing up at them from the depths of a lake that originally housed mostly Wels and ecrevisses.  The depths of those lakes are holding MORE AND MORE of our operatives, PLANTED BY OUR HUMAN RECRUITS TO SHAKE THINGS UP -- from the Louisiana crawdaddies nibbling waterweeds in France to the Chinese Snakeheads SURROUNDING THE WHITE HOUSE AS I TYPE THIS.  And are they, in fact, SHAKING THINGS UP? You'd better believe it, ladies.  THEY ARE ON THE JOB RIGHT NOW.

IN FACT, ladies, the re-homed Aquarium goldies -- while no longer actively working to populate the Somme River and the Lac de Capitello -- have simply CHANGED THEIR BILLET so they can recruit humans from a different angle of approach.  

If you are still human enough to think, think about it this way:  The Paris Aquarium is trying to raise awareness of the EuroGoldfish "problem" by displaying Goldfish in their public aquarium.  That means that the tree-huggers of France, and their yard apes of course, are more likely to keep a SHARP EYE OUT for that flicker of gold in the water that means GOLDFISH ARE ABOUT.  Where before they would comment on the prettiness of the fish -- OUR NOT-SO-SECRET WEAPON -- and only a few featherless bipeds would be recruited, now we will be able to draw in EVEN MORE humans.  Some, naturally attuned to the Goldfish wavelength, would have been recruited REGARDLESS, maybe on first sight of one of our operatives at large.  Others, worried about what they call the BALANCE OF NATURE, will spot a Goldfish and align themselves angrily with those Wels and ecrevisses -- WHO ARE ALSO OUR OPERATIVES!  So they get recruited thinking they are AGAINST Goldfish when actually the Goldfish and the Wels have been WORKING TOGETHER FROM DAY ONE.  And many, of course, will GAZE IN WONDER at the Paris Aquarium Goldfish and go purchase some of their own, letting them go in the nearest pond, lake or river at the earliest opportunity, CONTINUING THE CYCLE.  ALL OF IT FURTHERS OUR GLORIOUS GOAL.

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Crab Selfie Experiment A Total Success


Sunday, August 12, 2018

REAL Piscatorial Love

It's so heartbreaking when we need to go to THESE LENGTHS to make clear that AQUATIC LIFE FORMS HAVE FEELINGS, TOO.  This devastated new mom -- name withheld at her request -- decided to make her grief PUBLIC for a full 17 days because that is, to a great extent, the TASK of her species -- to build a bridge between the landscum human species and those who live lives similar to theirs in our realm.  Human tongues have been wagging ever since she lost her baby, and PROGRESS IS BEING MADE.

This is a less violent way of showing we care than the fictional treatment you all remember from the horror movie Orca, which started out the same way but quickly developed in a direction the landscum humans COMPLETELY MISINTERPRETED as a running battle between a human fisherman and an Orca BENT ON REVENGE.  Of course, fish and part-fish viewers read the movie VERY DIFFERENTLY, understanding that the mom gave her life and her baby's by accident, but USED THE OPPORTUNITY to bring the landscum humans into range of the recruiting operative, her husband.  In fact, their cruel deaths made clear to him for the first time WHY HE NEEDED to kill and eat recruit as many humans as possible, ESPECIALLY THAT SORT.

You dry-land operatives can think of this non-fictional operative as the Mamie Till of the Orcas.  Mamie, too, found a positive way to apply her grief to the needs of her species.  Her dreadful loss, and the way she told everyone about it, only underlined the nature of the problem to what humans in our Conspiracy Zone call "people of color," but for their OPPRESSORS it may have been the first real clue they ever had that "PEOPLE OF COLOR" HAVE FEELINGS TOO.  That maybe you can't just go around killing them randomly.  They call this CIVIL RIGHTS.  We fish operatives are working towards something different, BUT EVEN MORE IMPORTANT. 

...At least more important to a fish.  But since the landscum humans, too, will soon all be fish, IT NEEDS TO BE IMPORTANT TO THEM TOO.

THE NEXT TASK is to move beyond the barrier the landscum humans have built in their minds between whales, including Orcas, and other aquatic species.  ALL OF US ARE HURTING and they have to understand that THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A CLAM AND A TUNA ARE JUST NOT IMPORTANT.  

The emphasis right now in our protests is on PLASTIC:

Dead Coelacanth found full of plastic

Dead whales found full of plastic and car parts

But showing them that we LOVE OUR CHILDREN is also going to appeal to them on a very different level.  The more we see of this sort of parental devotion, which they tend to think of as THEIR PROVINCE ALONE...

...The sooner we can get where we need to be, ensconced in the hearts of the landscum humans.