Saturday, September 02, 2017

In "Harvey's" Wake






Welcome, fully aquatic operatives, to GREATER HOUSTON.  Here is a map showing the areas opened up by Hurricane Harvey for you to TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT GOES ON in the territories we are working on CONQUERING.  I was gratified to hear a Shaved Monkey news commentator say that the flooded area is as large as Lake Michigan.  This is another major opportunity by landfish and fully aquatic operatives to meet and exchange resources RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN.

I have to say the recruiting figures in the wake of this storm have been CURIOUSLY LOW.  Not nearly as many Naked Apes joined our ranks as we've come to EXPECT after more than 51 inches of rain come down.  We may be able to attribute this anomaly to the FILTH leaking into the floodwater from that PETROCHEMICAL PLANT they keep blathering about on the news.  THAT'S REALLY JUST MY BEST GUESS.  Texas is one of the states that voted in this climate-change-denying figurehead, and so by rights they should have sat there and IGNORED THE HURRICANE.

Or maybe the people who got out of the way of the water were of Mexican extraction, disinclined to listen to President 45?

It doesn't matter.  LET'S GET WET!

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Fare Thee Well, Nakajima-San


We've lost one of the greats.  Haruo Nakajima, the first man ever to don the Godzilla suit for the making of the 1954 Godzilla movie, and the one who wore that suit all the way through 1972, has gone to his FINAL REWARD...On the anniversary of the bombing of Nagasaki, which seems BEYOND COINCIDENCE.  He continued attending conferences, signing autographs and meeting adoring fans almost to his last breath.

There will never be another one like him.




THE BOOK OF SPECULATION



This REMARKABLE novel (ISBN 978-1250055637) by Erika Swyler is going to be the TALK OF THE CHAPTER MEETINGS for some time to come.  I think I can promise you that.  It's a multi-generation EPIC OF PISCATORIAL LOVE that runs from shortly after the American Revolution to right about now.  (So it's much longer and more complex than, say, Blackwater by Michael McDowell.)  To "fit the story in a mermaid's purse" for you, a librarian who can hold his breath underwater for 11 minutes -- give or take -- comes into receipt of a book that has his grandmother's name written in the back.  When he starts reading, he starts learning the FAMILY SECRETS.  

What I want you ladies to notice as you read is the featherless-biped attitude toward what is alternately called a mermaid, a руса́лка ("rusalka") or a water sprite.  THEY JUST CAN'T MAKE UP THEIR MINDS whether to idolize her or be angry at her; kill her or marry her; scrape her off their shoes and leave or have children with her.  And what does the mermaid make of all this upping and downing?  What is she going through?  THEY DON'T EVEN ASK.  And when a character "drowns herself," they're just flummoxed.  They were so busy whispering behind her back or worshipping at her feet -- or both -- that they NEVER SAW IT COMING.

In a way, this is reassuring.  There are several recruiting operatives in this story, and it's crystal clear that no matter what else is going on, THEIR SECRETS ARE SAFE.  I'm thrilled that all but one manages to GET HER MAN (as they say in the RCMP) and reproduce successfully.  By the end of the story one starts to see just how many of those seeds have been planted, and how far they have been spread.  PRETTY BRACING STUFF.  

It's also VERY nice to read a book that gives the ancient operatives they call Horseshoe Crabs the respect they deserve.  Not a lot of understanding, of course, but the RESPECT is there.  

Read it.  NOW.  That's an order.