Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Just Saying "Welcome" To The New Iceberg!

Even the Shaved Monkeys finally noticed!!!  A RATHER LARGE PIECE OF ICE came loose from the larger mass at one end of the planet, from a sheet their "scientists" call Larsen C.  A newscaster -- also a Shaved Monkey -- passed on someone's estimate that the volume was TWICE THE SIZE OF LAKE ERIE, and, I hope, CONSIDERABLY CLEANER. 
New operatives are melting out into the ocean AS I TYPE THIS.  STAY TUNED!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

If Only We Could have Gotten This One Recruited!

That 'Bat Shark Repellent' in his utility belt was just a little too effective...He died in his bed surrounded by his featherless biped family, which prevented him from sliding in relief down the drain in the middle of a hospital-room floor to JOIN US IN OUR CAUSE.
I guess you can't win 'em all.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

In Which The Vegans Prove Useful To Us After All

Here you see fisherman Rodney McDonald sending "King Louie" -- easily the longest-lasting restaurant-based operative in this Conspiracy Zone -- BACK TO HQ FOR DEBRIEFING.  The moment captured in this photo ended  "Louie's" 20-year-long visit to Shaved Monkey Central, sorry, I mean the Alma Lobster Shop, after this selfsame fisherman brought "Louie" up in a New Brunswick lobster pot.

"Louie" (real name withheld for security reasons) would not be back home had not Katie Conklin, a card-carrying VEGAN, decided to purchase her FOR THAT SOLE PURPOSE.

I guess it's a case of "CASH AND RELEASE."

It's a far, far better thing they do than the BLAMED FOOLS who killed a similar crustacean operative, codenamed "Larry The Lobster," who was shipped in a sealed container from a Florida restaurant to an aquarium Maine without a circulating water supply, food or -- that unimportant twiddle -- OXYGEN.  He showed up at his destination a week late, suffocated.

(crime scene photo)