Wednesday, July 03, 2019

No, This Is NOT A Security Leak

For you new recruits reading my blog, PLEASE REMEMBER that when humans are transformed into fish, they ENTER the water and DON'T COME BACK.  They are NEVER spotted crawling back up on the beach and making spectacles of themselves.

I believe that nowadays the Naked Apes call a guy like this a "photobomber." 
He is NOT, repeat, NOT one of our operatives.

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Conspiracy Watch, June 2019


A "sex-crazed Spanish slug" -- named Arion vulgaris by Shaved Monkey scientists -- is terrorizing British gardeners.  THEY ARE TAKING OVER AND THEY SCOFF AT SLUG PELLETS, according to The Express.  The proposed solution?  The well-known weakness of slugs for BEER is supposed to save the day.  They certainly have plenty of that in Britain.  The question remains:  will they be willing to set aside some of their precious supply in order to QUELL THE MENACE?

Meanwhile, in Japan, 12,000 train passengers have been inconvenienced by a slug TERRORIST ATTACK in which a SUICIDE LICKER electrocuted herself in order to disable a high-voltage transformer inside the works of their rail system.  The massive slug army brought 30 trains to a halt with the loss of only one -- ONE! -- operative.  

Life is good when the humblest of conspiracy operatives can cause this much trouble.  


Sunday, May 26, 2019

Conspiracy Watch, May 2019

SAYS HERE that according to a very informal survey of birdwatchers in the US of A, asking about sightings of foreign species of PARROT, there are 56 well-documented species of them TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY.  Having wiped out the only local species -- the Carolina Parakeets and Thick-Billed Parrots -- the Homo saps then set about importing NEW ONES, the best-known being the notorious Monk Parakeets who nest cheerfully even in bitterly cold areas in enormous communal nests (see image) that damage trees, power lines and buildings -- to say nothing of the NOISE LEVEL.  One thing about our own Fish Conspiracy: it's pretty much SILENT.  You can't say that about hookbills.

I just want to SALUTE the noble efforts of these operatives intent on TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY, not least because they form an effective DISTRACTION from our own recruiting efforts, aimed at drawing all 7 billion humans into the sea, like Lemmings.