Thursday, March 24, 2011

ANIMALS OF THE OCEAN, IN PARTICULAR THE GIANT SQUID


WOW. Just...WOW.
This incredible resource was written by Dr. Doris (and Mr.) Haggis-On-Whey. Published in 2006 by McSweeney's, LONG MAY THEY WAVE.
This is an incredible testament to the DEEP, SECRET LONGING of every human being to truly understand the Giant Squid. The Haggises-On-Whey make a determined stab at it, AND FAIL. What chokes me up JUST A LITTLE is how hard they tried...and HOW WELL WE SUCCEEDED AT HIDING OUR SECRETS.
In here you will find:
>> Squid dating tips.
>> Squid fashions.
>> Squid physiology, INCLUDING an accurate view of what you, as a human reader, will last see as you are being drawn down into the alimentary canal of an ocean animal.
>> Much, much more. So much more. I can hardly begin to tell you how much more.
This book was meant to be read to the little ones on Squidmas Eve in front of a roaring fire, with the snow pattering down gently outside.
JUST BUY IT, OK?

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Beach Disaster: La Jolla, California



It was an odd start to the morning Saturday in La Jolla, Calif.

Dazed Giant Squid Wash Up On La Jolla Shores



Giant squid litter La Jolla Shores after 4.0 quake shakes the ocean floor.

Squid Wash Up After Quake


First residents were jolted out of bed by an earthquake, which is not uncommon in San Diego, but what happened just minutes later was a little fishy.

First, residents were jostled out of bed at 7.34 a.m. by a 4.0 magnitude earthquake that was centered 19 miles out in the ocean.

“I was having coffee up on the balcony and I felt it shaking,” Kate Lutkemeier said.
She wasn’t the only one.

“I heard my doors and windows rattling, thinking that somebody was trying to get in my front door actually,” La Jolla resident Mary Skeen said.

The quake was felt all over the county, which isn’t uncommon in San Diego -- but what happened just minutes later was a little fishy.

“We just got here about 15 minutes ago and Lilly, what did you see on the beach?” John Feher asked his little daughter.

“Squid, Squid, Squid, Squid, Squid.” she replied.

Dozens of dazed Humboldt Squid, which were roughly three- to four-feet long and weighed close to 40 pounds, were found flapping around on La Jolla Shores beach.

“It’s like their equilibrium is all messed up and they don’t know what they’re doing and they can’t back out there,” said beachgoer Bill Baumann. “It was like they got -- I don’t know -- all shook up.”

It didn’t take long for the Seagulls to swoop in and start feeding on the Squid, so beachgoers ran to the rescue and tried frantically to save them by throwing them back in the water. That proved to be a difficult task for several reasons: they were extremely heavy, very slippery, and when the good Samaritans did manage to get them back them in water, the Squid didn’t know which way to go and kept washing back up on shore.

“Some people were saying it was the earthquake this morning that caused them to get disoriented, but who knows? Feher said.

He wasn’t the only person to mention that theory.

“A state guy was out and said the earthquake caused (it),” Baumann said.

Lifeguard Sgt. David Rains said that is one of several possibilities. Another potential cause is there were a lot of fishing boats in the area, creating a significant fish activity and Squid follow the food supply. He also said there have been a lot of water inversions, with the water turning from warm to cold, which could be the cause. But he doesn’t know for sure.

“Why are they here? Why are the squid here? I can’t honestly tell you,” Sgt. Rains said. “I don’t know if it’s tied or not to the earthquake.”

According to the lifeguard, swimmers should be wary of the creatures and keep their distance.

“The Humboldt Squid can be very big and very powerful and they may be dangerous,” Sgt. Rains said. “It’s just something I wouldn’t mess with until you’re sure that it’s dead. They’ve got a lot of suckers and claws and a parrot-like beak and they can inflict some damage.”

A spokesman for Scripps Institution of Oceanography said at this point they do not see a connection between the squid and the earthquake, but plan to look into it. Dozens of Squid washing up at the same time is unusual but it has happened before, according to Sgt. Rains. But Mary Skeen said it is a first for her.

“I have never seen Squid in the 42 years that I’ve lived here on the shores in La Jolla,” she said.

For now there are more questions than answers; did the earthquake cause the Squid to wash up or was it simply a coincidence? Just ask the little girl who helped daddy push some alien looking creatures back out to sea.

“Is it a mystery?” Feher asked his little daughter Lilly.
“Yeah,” she replied.


This disastrous incident of REVERSE LEMMINGDOM by our brave Squid operatives will never be forgotten. OR FORGIVEN.

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Friday, January 02, 2009

Happy New Year!



Now let's get out there and recruit our tailfins off!

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Friday, September 19, 2008

Baby Squid, Born Like Stars


Yes, ANOTHER YouTube video! Stop me before I post another!

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I Feel Terrible! Part 2




A quick blog search revealed NOT NEARLY ENOUGH SQUID IMAGERY, REVIEWS OR DISCUSSION ON THIS SITE. I would like to apologize to all ten-armed operatives here and now, in front of the whole ocean.

And I'd like to remind you more experienced operatives of this FANTASTIC SQUID RESOURCE WEBSITE, at the same time I introduce it to you newer gals. Every time I look there is something new and terrific posted up there. I think it can only indicate that SQUID CONSCIOUSNESS IS INCREASING OUT THERE, even on dry land where the Shaved Monkeys roam.
THE FACT REMAINS that there are not enough Squid movies, books, or even documentaries being churned out. (The "scientific" studies, involving the capture and torture of our operatives, ending with them trapped in jars of rubbing alcohol forever, you can keep.) MUCH MORE NEEDS TO BE DONE.
THIS WOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM if the Naked Apes had cottoned to the idea we introduced 30 YEARS AGO to replace the snakes and scorpions so popular among bikers and heavy metal listeners with CEPHALOPODS. But you can't win 'em all.
By the way, the black leather Squid posted on the blog linked above, July 9th, 2008, is NOT REASON FOR HOPE. Bikers just don't like anything without a visible stinger, fangs or a rattle on its tail.

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Friday, July 25, 2008

Today's Incredible Find -- BUY NOW!



Click here and see for yourself.
Feel free to disagree with me on this, but I tend to believe that in a world where ANYONE can buy a thousand SQUID-SHAPED STRESS BALLS WITH THE COMPANY LOGO PRINTED ON THEM, there is hope for the future.

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Friday, October 26, 2007

"Photo Op" Experiment Declared a Success


Nobody at ANY CHAPTER MEETING I'VE ATTENDED this month has been able to look at this photo without smiling. Once in a while these little opportunities come along and you just have to take them. A diver came along with a camera, and an operative who prefers to be nameless decided to make her jump out of her fins. Ha! Now comes the scientific scramble to give the unsuspected species a NAME, pin her tail on the Eco-Web so they're all filled in on what SHE eats and what eats HER, and the demented race by the Japanese to make her AND ALL HER KIND into instant noodle cups of some sort. Who wins?
~
WE DO.

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