An Appeal to the Membership

OK, I'm asking all of the operatives who are not under deep cover to let Mr. Troll know: this is HIS OPPORTUNITY to bring the joy of Squidmas to all the children of the world! Flap those gills, girls! I think he'll be persuaded once he realizes how many piscatorial operatives, as well as HP Lovecraft fans and all manner of Goths, want to GIVE HIM MONEY for this holiday item, which I dare say would be available NOWHERE ELSE ON EARTH! Who cares if it was my idea, it would be HIS INCOME.

Dare I hope he'd put "Merry Squidmas" in the spaces between the tentacle bundles? At that point I think I could RETIRE IN TRIUMPH and settle down the the task of shipping Squidly parcels everywhere from my watery lair.

Now, I want to add this IMPORTANT NOTE: Do not call, write or e-mail this renowned artist unless you are in the company of at least two non-operatives who are also calling, e-mailing or writing requests. We can't risk THAT much exposure.

Incredible News!

And I do mean INCREDIBLE. I just got an e-mail from RAY TROLL, ladies, yes, RAY TROLL.

HE IS ACTUALLY CONSIDERING DESIGNING SOME SQUIDMAS WRAPPING PAPER FOR US! Oh, OK, probably lots of landscum would buy it too, for their own debased Goth reasons, but

DAMN!

Well, this was shaping up to be a lousy day, and one e-mail turned it all around.

He's even sending for his own copy of Night Tide on the recommendation of the St. Lawrence Seaway Zone Leader of the Global Fish Conspiracy! Yes!

Oh, I know it's unseemly to get so excited about a gaudy, tinpot thing like human celebrity, but seriously, if he goes htrough with this mad plan, this could mark the very first time a human, knowing who and what I am, has agreed to FURTHER OUR GOALS.

Excuse me while I sink to the bottom of my tank in a stupor.