Add THIS To Your Squidmas Shopping List!

Yes, it's finally here! A remote-controlled, helium-filled KILLER SHARK your kids can fly around the house all year 'round! The Air Swimmer costs $49.99 and also comes in a Clownfish version. GREAT RECRUITING TOOL, LADIES!

(Helium not included.)

Thought For The Day

Merry Squidmas, Everyone!

One of the factors that will keep the celebration of this sublime holiday SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE is the fact that while not everyone is Christian, Muslim, Jewish or Buddhist, EVERYONE LOVES A SQUID.

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While the image above is not precisely a representation of the Jingle Squid, it NICELY CAPTURES the TRUTH OF THE MATTER: The Squid are watching you, and YOU CANNOT GET AWAY. Now there's a Squidmas thought to put a smile on EVERY FACE, be it hairy, scaly, leathery, feathery, or chitinous.

Just In Time For Squidmas!!!

Click here to see the last word in this year's Squidmas trees.

WOW.

Get knitting, my minions!

Incredible News!

And I do mean INCREDIBLE. I just got an e-mail from RAY TROLL, ladies, yes, RAY TROLL.

HE IS ACTUALLY CONSIDERING DESIGNING SOME SQUIDMAS WRAPPING PAPER FOR US! Oh, OK, probably lots of landscum would buy it too, for their own debased Goth reasons, but

DAMN!

Well, this was shaping up to be a lousy day, and one e-mail turned it all around.

He's even sending for his own copy of Night Tide on the recommendation of the St. Lawrence Seaway Zone Leader of the Global Fish Conspiracy! Yes!

Oh, I know it's unseemly to get so excited about a gaudy, tinpot thing like human celebrity, but seriously, if he goes htrough with this mad plan, this could mark the very first time a human, knowing who and what I am, has agreed to FURTHER OUR GOALS.

Excuse me while I sink to the bottom of my tank in a stupor.