Sunday, December 23, 2012

OK, This Is Weird...

 
 
One of my personal assistants here at the Manoogian Mansion's secret sub-basement alerted me to this.  She was looking something up on Google UNRELATED TO THE FISH REVOLUTION.  She was looking for books about the first member of the Manson Family, Mary Brunner (pictured above in a remarkably cheerful mugshot).  I didn't ask why, come to think of it...
 
But this is what she found.  I think we can call this the SCARY BOOK TITLE OF THE WEEK:
 
 
This book came out before the Mary Brunner she's interested in was even born, but the idea that somewhere out there, a Shaved Monkey was making a conscious connection bertween religion and irrigation is scarier than ANYTHING the Manson Family could come up with. 
 
And before I forsake this subject entirely, here is the logo of the Manson Family website, still maintained by Manson Family member Sandy Good, among others:
 
 
THEY SOUND SO NICE!
 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

DISTRICT 9



The main thing I want to say here is -- WOW!

This 2009 release, directed by Neill Blomkamp and starring Sharlto Copley, was originally described to me as a story about alien ROBOTS being kept in slum conditions on Earth.  LITTLE DID I REALIZE that the ghettoized captives were not only biological creatures of alien origin, but that the humans who captured them call them...PRAWNS.  The story revolves around the exploits of a human working for Multi National United (united against the Prawns, that is), who has just been promoted so he can head up the expulsion of the captives from their ghetto.  The idea is to remove them to what the human lead character describes as a CONCENTRATION CAMP.  Things do not work out as expected, for anyone concerned.

>> The first startling thing about this story is how accurately it captures HUMAN NATURE.  If a group of our operatives -- be they Prawns, Squid, or Electric Eels -- set down in a spaceship, or washed ashore in a rowboat, THIS IS ABOUT WHAT YOU COULD EXPECT OF THE NAKED APE WELCOMING COMMITTEE.

>> I marvelled as I watched at the hideousness of the sets they used to film the ghetto scenes.  Then, when I watched the documentary footage on the disc, I marvelled even more.  THAT WAS NO MOVIE SET.  THAT WAS SOWETO.  This is just the sort of thing you and I are working to eliminate.  Once all the humans have been turned into fish and returned to the sea, THEY WILL DWELL WITH DAGON IN WONDER AND GLORY FOREVER.   There are no ghettoes -- or as they call them in South Africa, "townships" -- under the surface of the ocean.

>> Wikus Van De Merwe, the lead character and QUINTESSENTIAL BELIEVER IN THE SYSTEM (always a big mistake in a movie of this sort), finds himself synpathizing more and more with the Prawns as the film goes on, for reasons that become ABUNDANTLY CLEAR as you watch.  This is exactly the change process EVERY ONE OF OUR RECRUITS undergoes before joining us in the sea forever.  And when I say he changes, I mean he changes just the way I did, from a travel agent (I guess Wikus is one too, heh heh heh) to North American Continental Conspiracy Zone leader. 

>> This movie is a really fine illustration of WHY WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO PASS AS HUMANS.  You don't want to end up like Wikus.

Watch this one!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Naked Apes Suddenly Learn Why Fish Came Up On Dry Land!



Yes, TO EAT YOU.  Sheesh.

Friday, December 07, 2012

Squidmas Time Is Here Again...



...And as we continue our FRANTIC SEARCH for the perfect recipe for Insalata di Frutti di Mare, let me just remind you that THE BEST WAY TO DRAW IN THE ITALIAN RECRUITS at this time of year is to call your Squidmas dinner what they call it:  THE FEAST OF THE SEVEN FISHES.

The fun part for the RECRUITER is knowing that the seven fishes are seated around the table with your dinner guests, charming them with the daintily prepared flesh of their sisters, who GAVE THEIR ALL for the cause.

For those of you unfamiliar with Italian:  Insalata di Frutti di Mare  or FRUITS OF THE SEA SALAD is made with Calamari, Cuttlefish and Octopus.  In Venice -- Italy, not California -- it is a non-negotiable part of the unforgettable Squidmas Dinner. Keep those cards and letters coming in:  the perfect recipe cannot be far from our grasp.  Even if your recipe does not win the contest, WE WANT TO TEST IN HERE IN OUR KITCHENS HIDDEN BENEATH THE DETROIT RIVER.