THIS SIMIAN WORLD

This is simply ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS BY A HUMAN I HAVE EVER READ.

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Clarence Day, better known for Life With Father, wrote this one in the 1920s; it has recently been re-issued by 1st World Library (2004). I of course have one of the old 1924 hardcovers, illustrated by the author.

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My scanner got wet inside; otherwise I would have adorned this entry with Day's drawing captioned "The First Thinker." It shows an undifferentiated anthropoid ape sitting on a rock, clutching his head in perplexity. I THINK THAT SAYS IT ALL, DON'T YOU?

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Seriously, this is the clearest examination of human nature EVER PUBLISHED. It's hard enough already to read the currently-fashionable folderol about brain scanning and hardwired racial prejudice and pink and blue brains, but after reading Day it's all I can do not to SLAM THE MAGAZINE SHUT AND FLING IT AGAINST THE WALL. Why? BECAUSE THIS BOOK MAKES NEARLY EVERYTHING ELSE WRITTEN ON THE SUBJECT SUPERFLUOUS.

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(Except Elaine Morgan, of course.)

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Day covers EVERYTHING on this subject, in terms even a Naked Ape can understand. He makes it look easy, neatly gathering up all the factors that make human society UTTERLY MONKEYCENTRIC in a slender volume anyone can enjoy. He throws the Naked Ape's nature into HIDEOUS RELIEF by contrasting it against the likely behavior and orientation of a comparable race of super-intelligent Cats, Elephants or Ants. He's not far off the mark if you ask me. Right at the end he tosses out a flippant question about whether humans are advanced (chuckle) apes or fallen angels, then scrapes it off his shoe and asks the reader, WITHOUT A SINGLE WORD: "Are you kidding me? We all know the answer to that!"

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Do you see what he's done, here? For a brief moment, flashing past like a panicky Minnow, Day has managed to turn that much-ballyhooed human intelligence IN ON ITSELF and actually come up with something worth realizing. NATURALLY, that meant that the book has fallen into obscurity.

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WELL, LET'S DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, SHALL WE? Here's the plan: ALL OF YOU will be using Conspiracy funds to purchase copies of the reissued book and slipping it into the Squidmas stockings of those you mean to recruit. All you have to do is call it a timeless comedy classic.

Then watch the Shaved Monkeys come pouring in!

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I just want to say, it's reading something like this that makes me realize why we're going to ALL THIS TROUBLE to save the species.