Yes, She's Lying

 

I found this on the front page of the December, 2024 edition of The Onion, a paper that REVEALS GREAT TRUTHS THROUGH HUMOR...

She's obviously NOT ONE OF US, and the only humans not part of our army who have gills GOT THAT WAY VIA SURGERY.  WE WOULD NEVER TRIFLE WITH SURGERY to make a human into a fish or vice-versa.  WE HAVE OUR OWN METHODS.

But it's an interesting CONCEALMENT idea. The LAST place anyone would look for a human with REAL gills would be is the Kardashian family, because everything about them is so OBVIOUSLY FAKE.   

This might offer us a PERFECT NEW PLACE TO HIDE.  Fish women encased in the silicone bodies of FASHION MODELS and ONLINE INFLUENCERS, who are expected to be faker than fake REGARDLESS.

We'll definitely be DISCUSSING THIS FURTHER at future chapter meetings.

Busted!

 

SAYS HERE that the Smithsonian Institute has "outed" our Snail Darter operatives, whose advocacy (using many dry-land operatives) foiled the building of a certain dam several years back.

What NONE OF THE LANDSCUM WILL EVER KNOW is the REAL reason we went to all this trouble.

Here's the link to the article in Smithsonian:

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/a-tiny-endangered-fish-delayed-a-dams-construction-in-the-1970s-now-scientists-say-the-snail-darter-isnt-so-rare-after-all-180985786/

I Guess You Can't Win 'Em All...

 

I saw this photo on the front page of a little local newspaper, and then found it in an article in the newest USA Today, and it was also at Wikipedia SO I HELPED MYSELF.  

Says here our covert operation to infiltrate what Naked Apes call Lake Superior with the operatives they call Shortnose Cisco has FINALLY BEEN NOTICED, after Scrod knows how many years.  All their attention has been on the Sea Lampreys, Zebra Mussels and Round Gobies as usual.

NONE OF THE FEATHERLESS BIPEDS HAS NOTICED SOME OTHER, VERY IMPORTANT DEPLOYMENTS IN THE. SAME GENERAL AREA.

No, just kidding; we haven't added any Bullsharks.  

YET.