Tuesday, September 30, 2025

Security Leak!!!

 One of our operatives has been spotted at the tanning salon area of Belle Isle, a short distance from my office:


Michigan DNR confirms 'credible' alligator sighting on Belle Isle in Detroit https://share.google/AuiWuspLiziJ7bIDD




We shall see whether this helps or hurts us.  It's bound to bring in a few new recruits, but I also don't especially want the naked apes to deploy armed troops against us in these hysterical, trigger-happy times.


Saturday, September 27, 2025

WHALEFALL

 


OK, ladies, I had to rest in my lightless cave for SOME CONSIDERABLE TIME after reading this one, before I could get it together to review it for you.

This is simply the most HORRIFYING novel I have ever read.

The author -- Scrod knows where this guy came from -- is Daniel Krause, and the International Standard Book Number on my hardcover copy is 978-1-6659-1816-9.

The story follows a guy named Jay who is apparently STRUGGLING WITH SOME ISSUES, as only a Naked Ape can.  All through the story he keeps having flashbacks to his traumatic past and how mean his dad was to him and how he dealt with that and blah blah blah.  I was starting to wonder what all this had to do with whales when he crossed paths with one while scuba diving to find his dad's skeleton at the bottom of the sea.  He was so busy blathering to himself about his dad that he didn't notice a creature more than 19 times his size approaching him, the idjit.

The rest of the book is about him figuring out what to do about this encounter.

AND HERE'S THE THING: this isn't anything like Moby-Dick.  The whale operative is a central character is the story, on his very last recruiting mission, and we see his point of view CLEARLY although the author tries to obscure it with his endless chatter about his dad.

THIS IS WHERE THE TERROR COMES IN.  

This is an especially important read for you land operatives.  GIVING YOUR LIFE FOR THE CAUSE isn't just a dramatic phrase.  It's the literal truth here, and it's what MILLIONS of fully-aquatic members of the Fish Army experience DAILY when they encounter the landscum.  You don't just lose your legs when you enter the water forever.  You might very well lose your life, and the agony of suspense in this story comes from waiting to see WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO THIS RECRUITING OPERATIVE.

I didn't see the end coming.

I had to put this book aside for DAYS before I could get back into it and finish, certain that it was going to be an unhappy ending.  I was wrong, luckily.

But just writing this much about it makes me shudder.

I won't spoil it for you, but think carefully before you take this one on.  It's incredibly rough going.  

Friday, September 26, 2025

Hello, Hungry Howie's? I Didn't Order This Pizza And I'm Not Paying For It

 


Yes, turning into an Eel IS a sign of good health.  But there are some Naked Apes showing up at our recruitment centers that WE JUST DON'T WANT.  

THIS IS NEVER GOING TO BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN.

Special thanks to the operative who found this horrifying image in the September 26th,  2025 edition of The Onion.

Monday, September 22, 2025

You And I Know What It Means, Though, Eh?

 



IT DOESN'T SEEM VAGUE AT ALL WHEN I LOOK AT IT!

Saturday, September 20, 2025

Now This Is What I Call A Great Recruitment Tee!


 I GOT THIS HERE:  Gothic Clothing, Satanic and Alternative | Wicked Clothes https://share.google/A1HJ388vswSgh2ADE

Saturday, September 13, 2025

Reminder For The Gentlemen


 OF COURSE ANY FISH OUT THERE HAS A BETTER PERSONALITY THAN ANY FEATHERLESS BIPED.  

WHAT DID YOU REALLY THINK!?