Fish Scandal!!!

A series of Shaved Monkey research studies indicate that in test after test, SEAFOODS IN THE SHOPPING OUTLETS ARE BEING MISLABELLED.  Lane Snapper is being called Red Snapper.  Catfish is being called Codfish.  NONE of the Butterfish sampled in Canada turned out to be Butterfish.

How do they know?

DNA testing!  This is the latest new frontier for this super-trendy science.  IT'S NOT JUST FOR SERIAL MURDER ANYMORE, LADIES.

I can't say I'm happy about this.  At all.  Here our operatives have been working DAY AND NIGHT to expose more humans to a variety of different recruiters, not just the Mrs. Paul's fish sticks they're expecting.  And now some smart-butt featherless biped comes along with his CSI serology kit and OUTS us.    Yes, you poor thing, you've been eating Salmon when you thought it was Sturgeon.  Are you any worse off for it?  No, you're not.  You're now turning into a Sturgeon instead of a Salmon.  Is that so terrible?

QUIT YOUR WHINING.  What difference does it really make?  We all look alike to you.  When you go to dwell with Dagon in wonder and glory forever, are you really going to being complaining that your barbels are the wrong length or your scales aren't quite the right shade of blue?  NO.  You'll be some sort of fish AND YOU'LL BE GLAD.

This is only a setback, ladies.  WE WILL PREVAIL.