Saturday, August 04, 2018

"Operation Baby Carriage": A Conditional Success

This security-cam photo is A LITTLE HARD TO MAKE OUT, but the featherless biped in the center can be seen carrying one of our operatives -- the kind they call a Horn Shark -- wrapped in a wet towel.  Our shark operative met this human at the San Antonio Aquarium where she had been living and successfully recruiting shaved monkeys for a while.  He has quite a large collection of saltwater fish at his place; naturally, the press assumed he was STEALING the shark operative from the aquarium to add to his collection.  It was NOT THAT SIMPLE, of course.  The plan was for the recruit and his friends to transport our shark operative to his place for a SUMMIT MEETING with the operatives already living at this human's lair.  Communications from the outpost at his home have been SPOTTY AT BEST and we were hoping for more complete information on their progress.  Amazingly, this recruit made the offer to just DRIVE HER THERE.

While the daring daylight SHARKNAPPERS, as they are being called, did not make it all the way to the outpost before being pulled over and arrested, WE DID OBTAIN A GREAT DEAL MORE INFORMATION.  Naked Apes are far too stupid to refrain from announcing every thought in their heads in the presence of our operatives.  THEY NEVER SEEM TO FIGURE OUT THAT WE ARE REPORTING EVERY WORD STRAIGHT BACK TO HQ.  The findings will be shared at the next monthly chapter meetings across the Conspiracy Zone.

Of course, the fact that this photo exists at all points up an INCREASING PROBLEM with our concealment activities.  It's getting so EVERYTHING YOU DO winds up on video somehow.  This makes it MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER  to add more layers of secrecy to what we are doing.  But in this situation we can also see evidence of our greatest advantage.  ALL FISH know what ALL OTHER fish are up to, in a general way.  We may not know exactly what a given fish is doing at a particular moment, but we know just what she is capable of and what all the possible options are.  WE LEAVE THE REST UP TO BLIND LUCK AND THE WILL OF DAGON.  But look for a moment at another security-cam photo taken of the same operation:

I am not joking at all when I tell you that these recruits, as desirable as they might be, are STILL HUMAN and capable of kidding themselves that they can operate unseen, even though every place they've staked a claim to is equipped nowadays with security cameras.  Behold our recruits busily packing our operative into a baby carriage for removal -- not only in front of the camera, but in the presence of half a dozen other shaved monkeys they didn't expect to NOTICE.

Before you half-human operatives ask:  OF COURSE the recruiting operative was aware of the risk.  But our fully-aquatic operatives don't use Uber.  A RIDE IS A RIDE.

We don't choose our recruits for their cunning.  IF WE DID WE WOULD HAVE NO RECRUITS AT ALL.  We choose them for their piscatorial love.  The way this guy's atherosclerotic HEART pounded WITH PURE LOVE as he made contact with our operative -- whose true name is being withheld at her request -- made it all worthwhile for BOTH OF THEM.

I feel sure that he will TRY AGAIN.


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