THE SHAPE OF WATER

Well, I got around to this movie QUICKER THAN USUAL because of all the hubbub.  After The Creature From The Black Lagoon almost vanished from human ken for DECADES -- and certainly never won an Oscar -- I thought this sort of piscatorial romance story would never get our operatives ANYWHERE with the Shaved Monkeys.  BUT LOOK AT US NOW, center stage with a spotlight on us because of this film!

Academy Awards for best picture and best director of the year!
A Golden Globe award for best director!
A Golden Lion, whatever that is, again going to the movie's director, Guillermo del Toro!
Academy Awards for best musical score -- because this is kind of a musical -- and best production design, whatever that is!

I COULD GO ON AND ON.  

THEY LIKE US!  THEY REALLY LIKE US!

But what a curious movie they chose to heap all these awards on!  If they had been watching more carefully, they might notice that what seems at first to be a sweet romance between an orphaned cleaning lady and a Gill Man is also a FISH MANIFESTO.  Every frame in the movie makes clear why the events happening to Eliza Esposito in this picture need to happen to EVERY NAKED APE UP ON DRY LAND.

CLIFFIE'S NOTES ON ELIZA ESPOSITO AND "THE ASSET":

>> Clearly this woman was born to join us in the sea, to dwell with us in wonder and glory forever.  The first thing we see is the movie is Eliza dreaming that her entire apartment is underwater.  And check out those gill slits on her neck!!!

>> The whole story is told from her point of view, so it's entirely a romance, seen through the eyes of a woman who has clearly watched a few too many musicals.  (She even lives over a movie theater.)  But there seems not to be a drop of romance in her real life until our recruiting operative comes along.

>> She does all the right things, all the things we look for in a good recruit.  I won't spoil the movie for you by telling you too much; just go ahead and watch it.  IT WILL DO YOUR TWO-CHAMBERED HEARTS GOOD.

>> But beware, ladies; like most films about romances between fish and humans, this is painted as a horror story, and for once IT'S THE KIND OF HORROR ANY FISH OPERATIVE CAN UNDERSTAND.  There is an unbecoming thread of COLD WAR PARANOIA in the weave of this story and IT'S WRAPPED RIGHT AROUND THE HERO'S NECK.  While he's rescuing her, she's rescuing him right back.  AND ISN'T THAT THE STORY OF ALL OUR LIVES?

>>  The really amazing thing to me is that del Toro clearly based this movie on The Creature From The Black Lagoon, and CLEARED THE STORY UP COMPLETELY so it makes sense to both fish and human viewers.  It makes you realize all over again as you watch that there is NO CONTRADICTION between the human and fish points of view -- only misunderstanding.

>> If only the humans understood that this means, finally, CURTAINS for them.

>> May it happen soon!

HONESTLY, THE THINGS THIS SPECIES 

GIVES AN OSCAR TO!!!