A Committee Report...

This is the latest report from the Chair of the Asian Carp Regional Coordinating Committee (shown above):

"Ladies and Gentlemen,
 
   "I am very happy to report that our efforts have not gone to waste.  Not only have we continued to spread Asian Carp influence all over the Midwest; not only have the so-called Bighead, Silver, Black and Grass Carp armies captivated the imaginations of MILLIONS of Naked Apes all over dry-land North America; but president Obama has actually created his OWN oversight group, ALSO called the Asian Carp Regional Coordinating Committee, to try to keep us in check.  After the laughter in our ranks died down over THAT magnificent gaffe, I had to admit that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery if you are a primate. 
   "Best of all, NONE OF THEM EVEN SUSPECTS what we are really up to because they are so worried about what will happen if our operatives sneak into the Great Lakes.  Good show, everyone!"