The Shaved Monkeys Take Issue With Brown Algae

The image you're seeing is of the BODIES OF OUR SLAIN CATFISH SISTERS, floating in the Indian River Lagoon along the coast of Florida.    That of course is far to the south of here, but still part of our North American Recruiting Zone.   This entry was prompted by the arrival, in my e-mail inbox, of a Change.org petition reacting to this sport-fishing and sight-seeing CRISIS, precipitated by a brown algae bloom.   All it really says is  "Governor Scott -- Representative Posey -- DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, WON'T YOU?"  The petition suggests no course of action at all, but notes with horror that the bloom has also killed Pelicans, Dolphins and Manatees by the hundreds.  And of course the underwater effects are not limited to Catfish.  More than half the Seagrass is on strike, and they took most of our fully aquatic, mobile operatives with them, IN THEIR THOUSANDS.  Quite a moving show of solidarity.   

I want you ladies to compare that photo to this one:

These operatives died quite differently.  The landscum deliberately suffocated them by dosing the pond they were living in, at some sort of exclusive Palm Springs gated living enclave, with a pourable crud (Rotenone -- remember the stuff they used to bring the Gillman to the surface in the first Creature From The Black Lagoon movie?) that forced our sisters to the surface, a few at a time, gasping miserably until they died.  Why?  Because one of their yard apes, Jake Duchene, found an unexpected species on the end of his fishing line:

This operative -- I have her permission to tell you that before she joined Our Glorious Cause, her name was Ruth Brodie -- was living in peace with her sisters and, I have to say, doing an admirable job as a maintenance operative.  Her unexpected capture -- DO NOT BELIEVE THE RUMORS YOU'VE HEARD!  SHE DID NOT BITE THE LURE! IT SNAGGED HER ON TOP OF HER HEAD! -- caused a typical Shaved Monkey panic that led to the piscacidal onslaught.  Even the yard ape's father, Darrin Duchene, complained about how heartbreaking it was that his son's find led to every fish in the pond being MURDERED.

But that's the way the Naked Apes do it.  THEY THINK IT'S ALL ABOUT THEM.  The news articles described poor Ruth as a man-eating fish from the Amazon Basin.  Well, ladies, let me point out that she never hurt a hair on a human head -- QUITE THE REVERSE -- and that she never saw the Amazon Basin in her life, but came to Palm Springs from Elkhart, Indiana by way of Cincinnati.  It was a Naked Ape that released her into that pond, and in all the time she and her Piranha sisters lived there NOBODY KNEW A THING ABOUT IT.  They tended to their own business, as fish do, and made a point of disappearing whenever a Naked Ape invaded their territory -- as fish do.

I merely want to point out that there is NO REAL DIFFERENCE between the content of the Change.org petition about the fish strike in Florida and the decision to murder hundreds of our sisters, a continent away, in California.  They simply DON'T GET IT.  The point they always seem to MISS is the fact that when Dagon makes the decision to kill fish (as in the first example I've given you today), it's done RIGHT, and when the landscum decide to do it, THEY CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT.  Even before they poured the Rotenone they were talking about restocking the pond with operatives of their own choosing.  EXCUSE ME, STUPID, BUT THOSE ARE OUR OPERATIVES -- NOT YOURS.  We will decide who lives there and in what numbers.  YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT.