Monday, October 04, 2010

Mind Control Techniques Continue To Improve

For some reason, these techniques work especially well for Aruanas, Alligator Gars, regular Alligators, and -- as pictured above -- the wily Asiatic Snakehead. Basically, anything long, slender, and LURKING JUST BENEATH THE SURFACE can easily learn to draw the featherless bipeds into the water, helplessly in love with their hypnotists. (For another visual of the same principle, see the visual in the entry immediately before this one. Heh.)
Here we see former housewife and part-time secretary, Doris Belcher, taking over the mind of a human who has NO IDEA that the tank's occupant now virtually OWNS HIS SOUL. (Wait, do humans even have souls? Can someone check on that for me?) He will return to this place AGAIN AND AGAIN until his body is no longer his, either. If Doris moves elsewhere, believe me -- HE WILL FIND HER. At that point he will ENTER THE SEA forever.
I am able to use this photo without fear of a dangerous SECURITY LEAK because we also already have POWER OF ATTORNEY. Doris was no ordinary secretary; she was a LEGAL secretary.
I love this job sometimes!

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Blogger Duamuteffe said...

In my case, it's the rays at the Pittsburgh Aquarium. There's a monitored tank where you can pet them if they choose to come up to you, and they kept coming up and begging for scritchies like little cats. (Flat wet sandpaper cats. Okay, it's not a perfect analogy :) It was awesome and the group of acquaintances I was with practically had to remove me bodily from the area, and the next time we went the exhibit was under renovation and I was hugely disappointed. I'm pretty sure I still have my soul, though- maybe repeated visits are needed for them to get the job done.

5:38 PM  
Anonymous Cliffie said...

You will not escape...:)

10:14 AM  

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