"Johnny Gatorseed" Updates!

WHAT A GREAT WEEK THIS HAS BEEN FOR THE GATOR INVASION!

Only THREE of our amphibious operatives have been captured -- oddly enough, all of them in the same week. Two Alligators were found in the Chicago river, and one was spotted cooling her heels under a Datsun on a side street in NYC. Much was made of the terrifying size of the two Chi-town operatives (the larger was 3 feet long). They already seem to have forgotten the FIVE-AND-A-HALF-FOOT BEAUTY who turned up a couple of years ago in obscure Lobdell Lake near Flint, Michigan. The new "captures" (chuckle) are now attracting ALL MANNER OF VISITORS, FANS AND NEW RECRUITS awed by their scaly, urban unlikelihood.

OF COURSE THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG. Many, many other Alligator operatives are moving into position across the Midwest, the Eastern Seaboard, the Deep South of course...WAITING FOR THEIR MOMENT TO STRIKE. This is really just like the Snakehead Operation we are implementing in various freshwater cabals surrounding the spiritual home of what the Naked Apes call the Free World -- Washington, D.C. And, of course, my personal favorite (because THOSE ARE MY PARENTS) -- the Walking Catfish operation in Florida.

THEY SEEM NOT TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE HAVE THE PENTAGON, THE WHITE HOUSE, THE CAPITOL BUILDING AND SEVERAL MAJOR CITIES COMPLETELY SURROUNDED.

FOOLS!