Saturday, July 03, 2010

Oh, Bullsharks! -- The Sequel

WELL, I HAVE TO SAY I'M IMPRESSED. Less than 2 weeks after having everyone discuss Fernicola's Twelve Days Of Terror in the book-club groups, YOU STARTED NOTICING THE CLUES FERNICOLA MISSED:

>> The heroic Matawan Creek victim, who died trying to save another Shark-bite victim, was named FISHER. His mother's maiden name was WATERS. His father was a SEA CAPTAIN.
>> Stanley's dad, Captain Fisher, commented that in all his years at sea he has NEVER seen a Shark attack a human. I daresay he was more than a little perplexed to hear that his son, working up on dry land in New Jersey as a tailor, had not only been killed by a Shark, but then learned it had happened in FRESH WATER. Fernicola's book does not relate what Captain Fisher made of THAT. The answer, BEFORE YOU EVEN ASK ME, is that we do it that way TO KEEP IT FUN.
>> The same of the other victim Stanley Fisher was trying to save? Stillwell. As in, a well full of still water. Or, just STILL...WELL. Ah, the mutlilayered meanings of human language! Young Lester, claimed at the age of 11 by Dagon's minions, had an utterly damp name and it also tells us his fate: STILL WELL, dwelling in wonder and glory forever with the Deep Ones.
>> A headline quoted on page 75 of the text: "SHARKS ARE MASTER OF THE COAST." Well, YEAH.
>> Page 101: "When considering the impact of water depth, distance from shore, water clarity, sea conditions, and location as they relate to Shark attacks, one should always remember that much or most of the influence points back to human traits rather than Shark preferences." See? EVEN THIS HUMAN AUTHOR ADMITS THAT THE NAKED APES BRING THE ATTACKS ON THEMSELVES.
>> Page 125: "As mentioned earlier, some Great White Sharks forget that the textbook says that most White Sharks are supposed to halt an attack after the first 'distasteful' bite of a human being." YEAH, THEY'RE NOT REALLY BIG READERS.
BRAVA, ALL OF YOU who are picking up these clues to the REAL motivation and plans of the fish world that the author himself misses!
Has any other Shark-bite adventure been THIS obviously piscatorial? I THINK NOT, MY FRIENDS. Keep up the research. Your brains will soon start to atrophy and this sort of fun rummaging through human books will no longer be possible.
Hey, DON'T BE SAD. Remember the good news I told you about a couple of posts back? Soon you will have NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, and NOTHING TO WORRY WITH.

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