THE BLUE SALT ROAD

 

WELL, THIS ONE WAS QUITE REMARKABLE.

 

The author of this one is Joanne Harris and the International Standard Book Number is 978-473-22221-2.

Hank, my counterpart operative working out of Lake St. Clair, recommended this one to me because he considered it a LAFF RIOT.  

I want you ladies to stop RIGHT THERE and try to picture a Muskellunge, LAUGHING. I know!!!

But I see what was so funny.  The book is a fulsome, Celtic-accented tale about a woman who enslaves a selkie using THE USUAL METHOD IN THOSE PARTS: you hide his sealskin from him so he can't go home to the water.

THIS BLAME FOOL IDEA IS WHAT OPENS THE WAY TO SUCCESSFUL RECRUITING OF A CERTAIN TYPE OF HUMAN.

CLIFFIE'S NOTES ON THE SELKIE MYTH:

>> Of course they have the whole recruitment thing BASS ACKWARDS.  They do not enslave the people of the sea, 'kay? WE DRAW THEM INTO THE SEA LIKE LEMMINGS.

 >> In their monkeycentric thinking, they DARE TO DREAM that once up on dry land, the selkie forgets what he's there for.  From there, I gather, he will dumbly do WHATEVER HE'S TOLD by his captor.  Get married.  Have kids.  Kill his friends and relatives and eat them with a smile.  Naked Ape hijinks like that.

>> Only the merest accident or slyest machinations will BREAK THE SPELL and free the selkie.

>> It really is ENOUGH TO MAKE A MUSKIE ROLL OVER LAUGHING.

>> HOW CAN THEY SEE IT THIS WAY, YOU ASK?  They do have one thing that we will never have ladies:  EGOS THE SIZE OF THE RIDICULOUS BUILDINGS THEY LIVE IN.  They really think they have that kind of control over us, on account of they're SMART and we're STUPID.

>> And this is RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU TO DRILL, INTO THE VERY CENTER OF YOUR RECRUIT SO HE WILL NEVER WANT TO GET AWAY.

>> We'll be discussing this in MUCH CLEARER DETAIL at the next chapter meetings, after all of you have read this HILARIOUS guide to what makes the Naked APES tick.