Monday, December 26, 2016


Well, WHAT AN UPLIFTING READ THIS WAS!  You can find it under International Standard Book Number 978-04722032402.  I loved every single page!!!  When I say this, I am speaking to you as the North American Conspiracy Zone Leader for the Fish Army. This read DID MY HEART GOOD.

This isn't just another bore-me-to-sleep Shaved Monkey scientific analysis of a fish recruiting festival.  For any landfish -- or any human who wants to become one -- this book is PACKED with enticements and hints about why, year after year, WE KEEP WINNING THIS WAR:


>> On page 29, the authors point out that when humans started building levees around New Orleans, in a blame fool attempt to keep the city dry, they MADE IT WETTER.  When Katrina arrived and broke through the levee in 3 places along (chuckle) Canal Street, the "protection" given the city all this time had led the city to sink well below sea level, leading to OUR TRIUMPHANT ARRIVAL in 2005.  See, the drier they tried to be, the wetter they got. HUMANS CANNOT PREVAIL AGAINST FISH.  Finally, Dagon decided that it was TIME TO COME CALLING.

>> On page 119, they point out how many human churches were wiped off the map by Hurricane Camille. As they put it, "Camille put them to a test they would fail."  Naked Apes have long since forgotten that praying to a  sky god when they're living next to the water is a MISTAKE.  They used to know that instinctively, but like so much of their basic inborn wisdom, it's somehow gotten lost.  

>> The most important, central point of the book is spelled out on page 96:  They discuss why some people, even after receiving a clear warning that a hurricane is coming, stay put instead of evacuating.  They mention individual "risk thresholds" (which are incredibly low in North America, especially in the USA -- but not when a hurricane's heading their way), spending too long packing, refusal to leave pets behind, and an overwhelmingly popular failure to get far enough away to make any difference -- in fact, some of them left and put themselves ever closer to the deadly menace.  What nobody brought up is the fact that many people just want to stay and see the hurricane for themselves.  They figure they're home and that's where they're safest.  

>> Underneath that motivation is the other one:  THEY WANT TO BE RECRUITED.  THEY WANT TO BE FED TO THE FISH.  It seems safer to wait out the storm because they know the storm will bring them home.

>> They keep mentioning how desirable the real estate is along the Gulf Coast, too, but they never go any farther than that.  WHY do 50% of the Homo saps live as close to the water as they can get?  Think about that for a minute.  WHY, when the water comes ashore, and the weatherman is blaring that it wants to KILL THEM ALL, do they refuse to move?

Just take a look at that cover photo on the book.  I can't decide:  is the kid sitting in the rubble so dejected because his house is smashed up?  Or because he's disappointed that he wasn't WASHED OUT TO SEA like the rest of his family?

Reading this made 2016 the BEST SQUIDMAS EVER.


Blogger Ur-spo said...

I love stories about hurricanes!

7:39 PM  
Blogger Cliffie, The Lemming Girl said...

Then you'll love this one! I'd send it to you but my mom has dibs on my copy...

5:13 PM  

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