Thursday, December 22, 2016

Carp Lives Matter In Poland

KLUB GAJA IS AT IT AGAIN.  Polish animal-rites protestors are dressing up as our Carp sisters to protest the yearly Carp Bathtub Massacre that occurs every year across Eastern and Southern Europe.  I first heard of this tradition as a young recruit when I watched Jeff Dahmer's favorite movie, Exorcist III.  Remember George C. Scott talking to Ed Flanders about the Carp swimming back and forth, back and forth in his bathtub until it nearly drove him out of his monkey mind?  At Squidmastime, when all of our operatives hope for PEACE and SERENITY, Shaved Monkeys distributed across the face of the earth are bringing home our Carp sisters and keeping them alive in their bathtubs "to clear the mud out of their systems."  Then someone comes along and HACKS THEIR HEADS OFF as they scream in terror, so the family can eat them.  It's pretty sickening, I agree.

The irony here is that whether you're the person EATING the Carp, or merely DRESSING UP AS A CARP to defend Carp rights, or maybe I mean protest Carp rites, YOU'RE ALL BEING ACTIVELY RECRUITED BY THE CARP WHO GIVE THEIR ALL FOR OUR GLORIOUS CAUSE.



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