Friday, November 28, 2014

A Word On Beluga Lentils

Let's just clear up some of the confusion spreading across the North American Fish Conspiracy Zone, shall we?

These are Beluga Whales:

This is Beluga Caviar:

And THESE are the highly-disputed Beluga lentils:

And while they do at first glance RESEMBLE the eggs inside a Beluga Sturgeon -- see the horrid center photo of a gutted operative, who asked by piscatorial advance directive to be identified only by her human given name, 'Sharon,' in any photo posted publicly -- they are really some sort of BEANS.  When you eat them there is no transfer of fish DNA to the eater.

As you revert to your true fish nature, this will become obvious and you will no longer need facts of this sort explained to you.  It is only the human part of your thinking -- draining away little by little as I type this -- that makes you susceptible to doubts, rumors and gossip of the sort that would try to turn a lentil into a fish egg.   


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