Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Quahog Operative Killed By Idiot Landscum Scientists

Says here that a couple of brilliant Shaved Monkey scientific investigators "accidentally" pried open the outer skin of one of our Icelandic Quahog operatives, killing her.  Not instantly.  It was slow and horrible, not really too much different from the deaths of MILLIONS of our other sisters uprooted from their homes and steamed to death in white wine.

The landscum treat this as a disaster because "Ming," as they called her, was the oldest living animal on monkey record, having hatched out 507 years ago, as they know by COUNTING THE RINGS of the shell they destroyed.

WE KNOW BETTER.  This is a disaster because "Ming" -- let's just go on using the wrong name, shall we? -- was one of our best longitudinal operatives in the Circumpolar Conspiracy Zone, having tracked an important set of factors in our world takeover scheme for, well, A LONG TIME.

Never mind, ladies.  There are plenty of other Quahogs ready and willing to take up where "Ming" left off. 

The scientists involved will be KILLED.  And EATEN.


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