The Things You See On The Internet!

The image above is an item UP FOR SALE through that company called Safari, Ltd. that makes ARTIFICIAL ANIMALS.  I guess they have now come out with an ARTIFICIAL GOLDFISH.  This is really a handsome toy, I have to admit, but for crying out loud, IT CAN'T EVEN SWIM.  (And it can't REPORT BACK TO US ON THE OWNER'S ACTIVITIES.)  You'd have maybe a whole tank of these lovely non-creatures, but they lack the hypnotic quality of the movement in a real fishtank, and there's no soothing bubbling sound either, I assume.  Wouldn't the real thing be infinitely better?

And while we're on the subject, GET A LOAD OF THESE:

 

Notice the ruler, included to give potential buyers the scale of the item.  That's right; for the human whelp who has EVERYTHING, they now offer ARTIFICIAL RATS FOR LITTLE TRIXIE'S DOLLHOUSE.  Geez, I can send you over a box of LIVE ONES, no trouble at all. 

 

AND YOU WONDER WHY WE'RE OUT TO ASSIMILATE EVERY ONE OF THESE IDIOTS!