Let's Clear Something Up Right Now...

I've said it before to you new recruits, and it appears the time has come to SAY IT AGAIN.  Lothrop Withington, Jr. was ONLY OUR PATSY when it came to the invention of that late-1930s college fad for Goldfsh swallowing, later done competitively and called Goldfish Derbies.  I recently whipped up an entry on this blog referring to the entry in Felton & Fowler's Famous Americans You never Knew Existed,  honoring the Guppy who gave her all for the Cause.  Well, I continued reading and THERE IT WAS...yet another reference to good old Withy who continues to take credit for the creation of one of the most daring and radical recruitment methods EVER used in the North American Conspiracy Zone.

What I really couldn't believe was the version of the story contained in this compelling volume.  I hold nothing against Bruce Felton and Mark Fowler; it is one of the many tragedies of the human condition that they just can't tell the truth from a lie.

But come on, I would have known this was nonsense even if I'd first read this as a fully-human travel agent.  Withy says here that he was introduced to the swallowing of Goldfish when he was on vacation in Hawaii as a child.  He says one of the natives was catching Goldfish down on the beach and eating them alive.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SALTWATER GOLDFISH?