Saturday, November 03, 2012

PETA Intervenes In Sea Bass Disaster


Irvine, California:  A truckload of Sea Bass operatives, being transported live to a recuitment center, I mean restaurant, overturned on a freeway in October of this year.  There were no survivors. 

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, rather unexpectedly, sprang into action.  They demanded a memorial sign at the site of the crash, the kind many humans erect at the sites of human freeway deaths.  They explain that there was great piscatorial suffering involved.

Well, truer words were never spoken -- a minute feels incredibly long when you can't breathe and your lidless eyes are grubbing against hot asphalt -- but IS SUFFERING REALLY THE POINT HERE?  Well, yes, if you belong to PETA. 

But PETA TAKE NOTE:  We give our lives GLADLY for the glorious cause of bringing humans and fish together.  One day, when the last of you bad-smelling two-leggers has entered the sea, to dwell with us in wonder and glory forever, we fish will STAND DOWN.  Maybe then we will be free to worry about our poor, sweet feelings and our need for personal recognition in the form of death memorials and la de da. 

Wait -- if we did that, we'd be turning human.  Never mind!


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