This Really Slayed Me...

...Says here that the Windsor, Ontario shaved mokeys are pointing an accusing finger at the Detroit, Michigan shaved monkeys, saying that a loud noise is emanating from the fabled Isle of Zug and waking decent Canadians from their sleep.  The Detroiters are denying everything.


CLIFFIE'S NOTES ON THIS PHENOMENON:


>> Zug belongs entirely to the mutant, albino Crickets that are the only living inhabitants.  The Crickets can't even rub their legs together properly due to industrial disease, so come on, THAT couldn't be the source of the noise.


>> Everything placed on the island by the shaved monkeys is noisy, but not THAT noisy.  The Naked Apes all leave every day as soon as they can to take long showers, allowing the Cricket conspirators to plot their next moves in privacy.


>> Zug isn't even really an island.  It's a pile of monkey-generated junk with topsoil raked over it, and, apparently, Crickets added.  The machinery they've added over the topsoil generated MORE JUNK.  But it's smelly, filth-type junk, not anything that makes a noise.

>> Hank, my male counterpart in the North American Conspiracy Zone who bases his operation in Lake St. Clair, knows the real story, and he's asked me not to tell TOO much on the Internet.  Suffice to say that "Operation Henry Limpet" is going JUST FINE.