Planet Of The Apes: Today's Reality

Click here to get a load of THE MOST DANGEROUS DEVELOPMENT YET in shaved-monkey culture.

I mean, WE ALL KNEW THIS WAS COMING. Sooner or later ALL the Great Apes, as they like to think of themselves, will band together against their common enemy, as they like to think of US. THAT'S GRATITUDE FOR YOU.

Not too long ago, I saw an article in Social Work magazine explaining that because some Gorillas have been taught Sign Language, that means that all Gorillas should have the right to special education services, as if this advance proved they were defective humans rather than perfectly good Gorillas. I forbore to put this in the Notes for well over a year. Even though Social Work is the stuffiest, most hidebound periodical you can imagine, and this article was stewed, brewed and tattooed by a review board the size of the Sony Corporation before it came out in print, I thought, dang, this author has GOT to be kidding. This is an elaborate exercise in landscum logic, testing social-service policy to its logical limits, an attempt to show the ultimate absurdity of all their good efforts to help the weak.

That's what I thought...until this Viennese lawsuit hit the press.

NEVER FEAR, ladies: WE WILL PREVAIL. But this part is going to really stink, OK? Just so we all know what we're getting into.