Carp Rescue Operation Successful

DATELINE: NOWHERESVILLE, MICHIGAN, USA

Yesterday in the late afternoon, in a no-account town in the Midwest, a human was out walking by a smallish river and spotted one of our operatives trapped in a shallow pool, next to a large outflow pipe after a heavy rain. Between the fast, shallow current and the pointy rocks, this operative (who prefers to be anonymous) had been trapped long enough in half-deep water to have a sunburn. YOU KNOW HOW CARP ARE ABOUT SUNBURN!

Well, this human took the situation in hand, sloshed into what, by human standards, is very cold water, and maneuvered the operative into deeper channels. Naturally, the operative realized at once that this was EXACTLY OUR SORT. She recruited her on the spot. To recognize this act of heroism in a member of an essentially dull-witted and selfish species, we also rewarded her with a glimpse of the First Muskrat of Spring.

Of course, as the DNA transfer takes hold, the REAL reward we’re giving her will become clear.