Conceal Yourself Better From The Humans!

The shape of your face may be changing, even before you enter the water for the last time. The contouring techniques pioneered decades ago work great for us. Simply pencil it in darker where you want to ‘recede,’ and lighter where you want to stand out more.

Example: your nose may be flattening out and disappearing. (Mine certainly has.) A little dark pencilling along the sides creates the illusion that your nose is as prominent and beaky as ever. If that’s not enough, add a white stripe where the bridge of the nose used to be. DON’T FORGET TO BLEND!

Here’s a tip you won’t see in any fashion magazine: contour with China markers. You know, those write-on-anything pencils that you sharpen by pulling the string along the side? They are waterproof, non-comedogenic, last all day, and their subtle, neutral transparency works with any skin color from blackish-green to fish-belly white. They apply best in a nice warm room, by the way. You can also use them to draw on eyebrows for just pennies a month – some of you are spending a fortune on makeup intended for primates and it just isn’t necessary.