Sunday, December 31, 2006

Woman Injured By "Overexcited" Dolphin In New Zealand

This looks like yet another example of overeager recruiting, but it isn't. Just a terrible Dolphin-launch accident. It nearly resulted in disaster for everyone involved. And I'm sorry to say that in the wake of all the other recent run-ins between the Wet and the Dry, we are potentially looking at REAL TROUBLE.

Add 'em up: The three Alligator killings in a few weeks' time in Florida. The Stingray that finished the acting career of Steve Irwin. The second Stingray who nearly polished off an 85-year-old fisherman in Florida a short time later. The Sea Lions biting people's feet off on the West Coast. The string of Shark attacks hither and yon. The Killer Carp invasion in Ohio. I know I'm forgetting quite a few.

Do you see the problem? If anyone human puts all this together, YOU KNOW HOW THEY'RE GOING TO SEE IT: We will become the enemy. This is going to put a serious crimp in our ability to save them from themselves, BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE SOLD FROZEN TO MRS. PAUL.

With any luck someone like William Girdler will just sew it up into something like Day Of The Animals 2: The Fish, but can we really count on an international phenomenon being shrunk down into a B-movie and dismissed?


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