Breaking Conspiracy News

SAYS HERE that a Northern Snakehead operative -- referred to in the article I saw as a "Frankenfish" -- has been apprehended while on maneuvers in the southeastern corner of Pennsylvania.  Unsurprisingly, the operative was waylaid in one of their miserable DAMS.  Because no Snakehead operatives were captured in the previous two years at that location, the Shaved Monkey scientists had the GALL to say this is the ONLY ONE living inside the imaginary line that demarcates Pennsylvania.  

YOU JUST KEEP

TELLING YOURSELVES THAT!

I'm reminded of all those scenes in sci-fi movies that show worried military men and the Joint Chiefs of Staff in an underground SITUATION ROOM, saying "We can't let this information out!  It would create a panic!"

IF THEY ONLY KNEW that it's far, far too late to futz around with mere PANIC.

WE'RE HERE ALREADY!  YOU'RE NEXT!!!

Before ending this entry I am going to do a special favor for the captured operative.  She has left us of course, but we all knew that if this day ever came for her, she wanted her discarded human name bruited about the Internet, because before she transformed into her current shape she was ONE OF THAT GENERATION OF HUMANS.  The MISSING POSTERS are down since they found the human part of her remains, so I'm going to go ahead and bid her a respectful farewell...

 

 

R.I.P. Aimee Desiree LaShawnda Running River Wicziewski, one of our most DARING and FEARLESS Snakeheads, who TRAVELLED FARTHER and accomplished MORE in her short time as a fully aquatic operative than we DARED TO HOPE.  Your sacrifice is part of ALL of us now.