This Is Why We Generally Turn Humans Aquatic...

 

...and NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.  There is simply NO WAY an aquatic life form wants to engage in this kind of, I guess, humor.  LOOK AT THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES.  It will tell you all you need to know about their interest in dressing like frat boys.

The answer is to turn humans piscatorial so they can, quite literally, SWIM AWAY FROM ALL THIS NONSENSE.  The doofusy t-shirts will biodegrade, or our Rat sisters will process them into bedding.  Ladyslippers and ferns will grow up through the chassis of every abandoned internal-combustion vehicle.  Their cultivated fields will go back to forest.  And the rivers, lakes and seas will be filled with FISH who do not miss being ridiculous NAKED APES.