A Tribute To The Lake Champlain Monster

CLICK HERE to view a very fine 'sister' site, devoted to the study (and tie-in memorabilia sales) of Champ, the Lake Champlain monster. I especially want you all to view, AND PURCHASE, some of this fine Champ gear. I am soon going to own one of just about everything on the sales page of this site. I mean dear Cod, they've solved all my Squidmas shopping problems in one fell swoop!

There is not nearly enough attention paid to the shy and retiring Lake Monsters which are (never quite) found around the world. The decline has become even more serious with the recent spate of "let's prove Nessie doesn't really exist" documentaries.

Really, I never.

I've explained elsewhere on this site why Nessie can never be found using clumsy sonar and the other feeble tools of landscum science. Why don't they talk to ME before committing this idiocy to film?

Ah, yes...They don't know I exist. Onwards.

I did want to respond, while I'm thinking about it, to one of the more recent scientific "proofs" that there is no Nessie. This is based on a finicking analysis of the infamous "surgeon's photo," you know the one I mean. I can no longer remember which debunker announced in which TV special -- I see so many of the damned things, you wouldn't believe it -- that the Nessie shown in that photo could not be more than a couple of feet long. Hence the whole thing is a hoax, yattata yattata yattata. As usual, they overlook the head-slappingly obvious:

TEACUP PLESIOSAURS.

Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to these blame fool idiots?