Saturday, April 19, 2008

Soylent Green Is Made Of Damned Dirty Apes

I never thought this day would come. It's TRUE, ladies, even I can't deny it ay longer: On April 5th, 2008, Charlton Heston went wherever it is civil-rights advocates go when they die. IF ONLY HE KNEW how much he did for US.

One of the really lousy things about this job is being UNABLE TO HELP THOSE WHO HELP US. In the name of KEEPING OUR SECRETS CLASSIFIED, I can't pull any strings, I can't hook him up with better connections; I CAN'T EVEN SEND HIM A LOUSY THANK-YOU CARD.

And now it's too late. This man, who very simply and elegantly pointed out to our future recruits that they are DAMNED DIRTY APES, becoming a symbol of hope for MILLIONS, is gone.

He will never be forgotten. But we can hope, once the revolution is fiunished and the last bagboy has been transformed into a Stingray, that the Monkey People can finally forgive him.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Ur-spo said...

but did they have to pull a gun out of his dead fingers?

4:23 PM  
Anonymous Cliffenstein said...

It is considered unwise, in some quarters, to give a gun to an Alzheimer's patient.

9:18 AM  

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